Be careful how you are talking to yourself...
I grew up in a family--both immediate and extended--made up of very humble people. Considering their history (WWII survivors from my dad's side, Ultra orthodox Jews and pre-Israel settlers and pioneers on my mom's side), it comes as no surprise that they worked very hard and did not take anything for granted. My maternal grandmother, a VERY wise woman, would always attribute any achievement or positive characteristics to external factors, never to her own competence. My mom and dad, the very same. My older brother always loved to turn the joke on himself (still does). I saw this behavior and I internalized it.Throughout my life, if I was given a compliment or praised for an achievement, I quickly dismissed it, because 1. I didn't really believe I deserved such praise, and, and 2. I was concerned that accepting accolades will come across as bragging. Even today, I must admit, I engage in A LOT of self-deprecating behaviors. Obviously, I know better. I have worked with a lot of kids and adults in helping them change and reframe the way they talk about themselves, in hopes that they will start believing that they are worthy and capable, and actually start loving who they are. I know the power of words, particularly the ones we say to ourselves. I have learned that while it is perfectly okay, and even necessary, to make light of things and have fun, self-deprecating language can quickly give way to self-abusive words. It is a very thin line, and must always take conscious awareness not to cross it.My husband set forth a challenge for us both--we are no longer allowed to talk negatively about ourselves, even if it a "joke" (you know how they say that behind every joke, there is truth)--and the loser will owe the winner an hour-long massage. When he suggested the challenge, I immediately said "well, I am sure I will lose this one...," a self-deprecating statement whose irony was not lost on me.Today, I am extending this challenge to you. If you cannot say something nice about yourself, say nothing at all. And, better yet, just go ahead and say something nice about the person that you are. Those words will make an impression on you, and I have a feeling you will want to hang out with yourself much more;)
